Think you are being bullied at work?
• Do you feel intimidated, or dread to work near a particular co-worker, or you’re being yelled at, insulted, and put down?
• Does a co-worker talk over you at meetings, criticize you, or steal credit for your work?
If you answer yes to these questions, chances are that you’re one of the many employees who have been the subject of bullying in the workplace.
You know you’re working with a bully when he/she uses your mistakes and constantly brings them up. Or worse, the bully gossips about you, tells lies to your co-workers, and even sabotages your work.
Here are some actions to take that might help to defeat the bully.
Know You’re Not Alone: A Bully Lives in Many Workplaces In research conducted in the USA (The Zogby study) , it was found that:
• Bosses comprise 72% of bullies.
• More men (60%) are bullies, but women bullies target other women (71%).
• 62% of employers ignore the problem; 40% of employees targeted by a bully never tell their employer.
• 45% of people targeted by a bully experience stress-related health problems including debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and clinical depression (39%).
How to Deal With a Bully You can deal with a bully and change the bully’s behaviour if you are willing to be strong and take action. You need to do something. The bully will not go away; if you make yourself an easy target, you will only encourage the bully.
Here’s how to deal with your office bully.
Set Limits on What You Will Tolerate From a BullyExercise your right to tell the bully to stop the behaviour that is causing you grief.
• Describe the behaviour you see the bully exhibiting
• Tell the bully exactly how his/her behaviour is impacting your work.
• Explain to the bully what behaviour you will not put up with in the future.
Confront the Bully With His Own BehaviourConfronting a bully is scary and hard, but, as Littman and Hershon suggest in I Hate People, bullies are “only effective when they’re on solid ground. Ground that you can take away.”
Remember: You’re the adult dealing with a tantrum. No wise parent gives in to a child’s fit because it just leads to more fits.
You need to call out the bully on your terms.
Document the Bully’s ActionsAny time you are feeling bullied or experiencing bullying behaviour, document the date, time and details of the incident. Note if another employee witnessed the incident.
If you need help from HR or management, documentation is essential. If the bullying occurs in email or correspondence, maintain a hard copy of the trail of emails and file them in a folder in your computer.
Your Co-workers Are Targets of the Bully, TooNote whether the bully is behaving the same way with your co-workers. Ask your co-workers to document the bully’s behaviour and any scenes they witness when the bully targets any co-worker.
Tell Management and HR About the BullyYou’ve tried to implement these recommendations, but they aren’t working to stop the bully. It's time to get help. Go to HR or your manager with your evidence, especially the evidence that demonstrates the impact of the bully on the business, and file a formal complaint.
Hope for the best resolution but be prepared to explore other options so you have less contact with the bully. You may never know what was done about the bully but you can assess the impact by how he/she is now behaving towards you.